“May be I won’t be smoking your favourite cigarettes with you,
Maybe your favourite song will not be my favourite song,
But you know what; your favourite line will be my favourite as well,
That’s because the thing that you feel from it will be mutual.
And when you’ll look beside you, you’ll find me,
Maybe you’ll not feel the same as was with your first love and I don’t blame you for that,
But I’ll be there by your side because your heart knows what I feel and there is no need to say it out loud.”
Those words still ringing in my ears,
Words which had comforted me for years,
The winds which were so soothing that night,
Tonight these cold winds are striking my face to bring me back to my real life.
A life without you.
They say that the memory fadesaway,
That, the colour of your photographs fades away,
But even the feelings would fade, that’s what I’m scared off nowadays.
Everything was so fine,
The relation of ours was so lovely that it was hard to define,
I knew by saying what I feel it would change things,
Because I was the one still confused with my feelings.
I knew he loved me more than love itself,
But whether I would be able to return those feelings equally was something hard to tell.
That simple mistake was all that I’d made,
I just wished that I would had never said,
Never said that I loved him, I wish I would had let those feelings linger within,
As confessing it to him directly was all that had changed him.
They say that ‘more than friendship relations’ are a bit complicated,
Now I realised to what those complications were related.
The new era of texting and calling via phone is like a boon,
But these are the things plus ‘me’, which caused everything to ruin.
After that night we had lots of fights.
Irritation and frustration was bubbling in my head,
His possessiveness was what that has bought this hatred.
I lost my bestie after those days, when he promised me that he would never talk to me again.
I know that the feelings are still mutual,
But the past days of fun and frolic has taken its dismissal.
A year has passed since we last talked,
He said “you deserve better than me” before bringing our ‘whatever’ relation to a full stop.
I don’t know my future whether ever I’ll settle with a better man,
But it’s the past into which I want to delve and mend,
A simple mistake, I wish I could change.
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